FROM THE DEPTHS
I want to help people who cannot see the light but live in darkness. This blog is about bringing positive back for people who have lost all hope and help them strive to do better and become driven to follow their dreams.
This blog is dedicated to all human beings. I want people to be aware of, and support, what happens to a person and how to help people in different situations. I want people, who are in different situations to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I want every person to know that you can work your way through things and that there is always hope, even when there seems like there is none.
It has been a very long time since I have written something. I was not sure where to go from where I left off. So much has happened.
Being ostracised and estranged from my family, finding my own path, healing and understanding my depression, still dealing with the side effects of Chemotherapy (nephropathy), finding that I have friends that care and others that don’t. Life is still a journey and I have been taking it one step at a time.
What I have found is discovering what my type of depression entails and keeping that in a positive light. Trying to please others and protecting myself are the two driving forces for me. I have certainly done things that I am not proud of, and nothing I do or say can undo the damage done to anyone I have hurt or inadvertently mistreated. Except to say that when you have an illness that anyone close to you should try to understand what it entails. I always thought I was misunderstood. That is an understatement. How can people try to understand me if I do not understand myself, or love myself? Anything I have done has not been intentional… every. Have you felt this way?
At this point in time I look at what I do have and am grateful for all of it. I have friends that love me, I have a job that I enjoy, I know people who are good, kind, humble and caring all around the world. I currently have a roof over my head and a dog who loves me. I have found friends that I now call family and have gone back to my roots of the earth, spirituality, nature and just living in the present.
Reconnecting with who I once was has been invigorating and hard. It has not been easy to forgive myself of past transgressions. But no one person is to blame in a single situation. I am only in control of my own actions, just like you. How people respond to this is at their own digression. People choose to see one side of a story and not understand the other is at their own peril. I will not be apart of that or be of blame to that. If this has happened to you then think about that.
What you do is your own action, so own it. How people respond to that action is their own response, you are not responsible for how they feel, what they do or how they process it. It is beyond your control. For people to blame you for another’s reaction of what you have done, cannot possibly be your fault or responsibility. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and councilors will attest to this. You must own that action and be responsible for what you have done and the consequences of that action. But you are not responsible for how people react or what they do regarding it. If people cut you off, don’t let you know how they feel or try to find out why - you have no way of knowing what is going on. This is not on you.
So much to think about. So much to say.
For my next few blogs I will be writing, in detail, the thoughts and depths of what I have been through. Also, what I have done to pull myself out of these situations. I need your help in deciding what to write about next so I would love to hear what you would like to read about. How it might help you. Please let me know by numbering 1-5.
· Depression
· Rape
· Cancer
· Chronic pain
· Family
I will leave you with this.
1. Be kind to yourself
2. Speak the truth to yourself
3. Love yourself
4. Be kind to others
5. Always pay forward what has blessed you.
